Saturday, April 2, 2016


We're nearing the end of pre-production on our new webseries Friday Night Bites, which means principal photography is set to begin in less than a week! True to our mission, the company has assembled a diverse team of badass vayenas.

The writers have penned some fantastic episodes, ranging from a poignant two-shot conversation to a surreal ensemble musical, with plenty of homages to iconic cinema in between. Friday Night Bites will dive deep into the current wave of intersectional feminism. Don't worry, we haven't lost our original silliness. But if you're the type of person to support Donald Trump, then now is the time to look away (and maybe jump off a cliff). Or not, our comment section is always open. 

Of course Friday Night Bites would not be possible without the help of NZ On Air, so thank you! But even with funding, the budget is tight. And we've got big-dick ambitions. Financial stretches were made to afford the wo/manpower to pull it off. We've come full circle by doubling up on jobs like we did whilst filming the first season of Flat3.

This is where we need your help - WE ARE DESPERATELY SEEKING BACKGROUND ACTORS! If you would like to hang out with us, we would love to hang out with you! Flat3 Productions is a fun, chilled, and professional crew. We promise to put food in your belly and (hopefully) a smile across your face in exchange for your time. 

Filming will take place between April 10 to 21 in Auckland, there are day and night shoots depending on script. So please, please contact us if you're interested in being part of our new digital series Friday Night Bites. Don't be shy! You can bring a friend!

Flat3 Productions

Monday, March 14, 2016

A SEALED FATE by Perlina Lau

The Listener asked some of NZ's top writers for a 300-word story on the topic of  “A Journey”, including our very own Perlina. 

I had been eyeing it up for months.

Spending two-thirds of your weekly income on a board game - that's an investment.    

Cranium meant nights of crippled, bent over silent laughter paired with trying to speak, hum or spell at the same time. 

After one round with my siblings, we realised I had bought a simplified version.

Before you think "why didn't she read the cover?" let me assure you it wasn’t that clear! There was no ' for young adults' labelling.

The plastic wrappers were off, putty smudged and the note pad was dented. 

I don't think the shop assistant sensed my desperation as she told me games had to be in their original condition for exchange.

Simple solution; I stacked everything perfectly, ripped off used pages, sharpened the pencil and smoothed out the putty until there was no hint of human affect.   

Google sent me to a West Auckland packaging company and from the outside, there was no sign they housed boxes of entertainment. Everything was grey.

I explained I was there to have my game resealed and moments later, the manager appeared.

"Would you like a tour?" he asked with the kind of enthusiasm which suggested they had few visitors.

I slowly walked into the Wonka factory of board games. 

From floor to ceiling, puzzles and games lined the walls.  I met the staff and he explained the processes. 

We finally arrived at the conveyor belt and he pointed to the game in my hands, "So you want this sealed do you?"

I was sure he'd realise my cunning plan so answered with a mouse-like 'Yes, please".

He held the game up and before joining the production line of puzzles waiting to be sealed, he paused and said, "Mm, I don't think this is our game!?"

Published in The Listener January 2016 issue.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016


Unlike my co-stars I wasn't born in New Zealand. On my first day of school the teacher said my name wrong. I didn't know how to correct her, so she said it wrong for the rest of the year. I was the new kid. And the only Chinese kid in my class.
Eventually I befriended a girl from the class next door. Her name was Beryl, she was a year older so naturally bossed me around like a big sister. Beryl was Chinese, but taller than most pakehas in her year. Every lunchtime we would meet by the painted wooden bench by the edge of the schoolyard to eat our 'funny' food. 

Then one day, Beryl didn't show up. She wasn't there the next day either. I eventually found Beryl huddled in a new spot with her new friend - a white friend. I asked Beryl if I could join them, but she said no. I asked why. Because I was Chinese. Beryl explained her parents didn't like me because they thought I was holding her back from fitting in with the pakehas. Like a good Asian daughter Beryl obeyed, and never spoke to me again. Even though the seven year old me was hurt, I believed her. I believed I was the inferior choice.

Ironic isn’t it? My first racist experience came from my own people. From that moment on I began to internalise racism for the next decade of my life. I felt embarrassed and apologetic about who I am. I changed my nameI criticised my parents' accents. I insisted on eating sandwiches even though I hated crust and would throw half of it away. 
I avoided making conversation with international students in my class despite knowing exactly what they were going through. I convinced myself I was different - I wasn't a FOB, not anymore. So I turned a blind eye when they got bullied, a decision I regret to this day. 

Last week I read an essay by Sharline Chiang which resonated with me, as I'm sure it did for many others. I'll admit, being a banana freed me from isolation. But it took me ten more years to realise I was subconsciously upholding a system that discourages the power of POCs. So I’m curious, how did you finally start accepting yourself? Whether it’d be your race, your body, your sexual orientation, we’d love to hear your stories! 

Monday, February 8, 2016


1. It's not our fault, it's yours.

The dirty little secret is most movies are made now with an eye to the foreign market, and Asians really are racist. I’m just honest. They don’t want to see black people generally in their movies. The Hollywood executives are like, ‘We’re not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we’re capitalists. We want to sell our movies in China (and) they don’t like Kevin Hart.
- Bill Maher

HAHAHAHA....(3 minutes later). You're blaming this on us? Seriously?
The only things our cousins in China are guilty of is sustaining Michael Bay's career and greenlighting another Fast and the Furious. If we were truly your overlord, Scarlett Johansson wouldn't be in Wellington filming Ghost In The Shell right now.

2. Writing for a POC is like writing for a dog.
You don’t sit down and write a story and say, ‘I’m going to write a story that involves four black people, three Jews, and a dog,’ - right? That’s not how stories get written. If you don’t understand that, you don’t understand anything about how stories get written and you don’t realize that the question you’re asking is idiotic.
The Coen Brothers

You're saying none of the white characters in the 20+ films you wrote could've been played by a POC? Because we don't share the same human experience? Just admit you're only comfortable writing what you know and we would've respected that. Instead you compare our inclusion to that of a dog. F U.

3. Awards are a meritocracy.
Raybon Kan: Evil empire of white Hollywood
Raybon Kan: Evil empire of white Hollywood
I suggest to all, that it is time to be judged on the merit of our actions not the colour of our skin. Perhaps, just perhaps, people's performances should be alone judged, not active discrimination against one group for being to (sic) numerous.
- The general consensus of the internet comment section

Except we were never competing on an even playing field. "Talent is everywhere, opportunity isn't. And talent can’t reach opportunity."  We're not asking for Affirmative Action in a talent show (which you seem to be deathly afraid of), we're asking you to acknowledge the system is rigged and help us to fix it. 

Let this beautiful man break it down for you

4. Hush. Patience is a virtue.
(His take on #OscarsSoWhiteBe patient. Of course, it will come. Of course, it will come. It took me years to get an Oscar.

But Sir Michael, it's hard being patient when 9 times out of 10 your agent sends you to an audition only because the script calls for an "Asian female".  And 8 times out of 10 she's a prostitute. Until colour-blind casting is the norm, we're gonna make a fuss. 

P.S. Just to be clear, colour-blind casting does not justify a white guy playing Mao ZeDong. That's yellowface. My die-hard commie grandpa is rolling in his grave right now. Sacrilege!

5. You're the one being racist!
(Her take on #OscarsSoWhiteIt’s racist to white people. One can never really know, but perhaps the black actors did not deserve to make the final list...Why classify people? These days everyone is more or less accepted.
Charlotte Rampling
Dear butt-hurt internet people, reverse racism is not a thing!  
tessa thompson animated GIF
tessa thompson animated GIF
People of colour can behave prejudicially against white people, and that's definitely not okay! But when we joke about your lack of dance floor rhythm, it punches up, not down. Such racial prejudice do not carry the power to affect a white person's access to resources and privileges because of where it comes from in the hierarchy. The accusation of reverse racism assumes that racism occurs on an even playing field. But the ground is clearly tilted.

In recent years, digital media has been an outlet to champion diversity in front of and behind the camera. And we're finally seeing the effect of this trickle to the small screen. The success of Empire, Jane the Virgin have proven to the networks that audiences are ready to embrace the stories of other cultures. In 2016, we can have more than one Asian on TV (except in NZ). In fact, we can have a whole family. 

Fresh Off the Boat, USA

Two families. Whaa...
The Family Law, Australia

It's a big step forward. And we understand that to get to Fresh Prince, there needed to be The Cosby Show, and to get to black people integrated into comedies, there needed to be Fresh Prince.  But why does it take a whole cast of Asians to make an Asian show? What about a majority Asian show? What about a 40% Asian show? Raybon Kan was right in his last opinion piece, if there was a real show about medical services, 50% of the staff would be Asian. If it was a show about science majors at uni, it would be like 70% Asian. Why does it have to be 100% or 1%. And I mean fully integrated, not the roles Lucy Liu had to take in her early career. We're not asking for our day in the sun. Or trying to start a race war. We're just asking for the diversity of our cities to be reflected on TV and film. Like, actually. Please. 


p.s. we'd love to hear your thoughts, let us know what you think.

Sunday, March 8, 2015


In honour of International Women's Day, we decided to participate in YouTube's #DearMe hashtag. Growing up, the path to finding ourselves often feels like a series of random steps and missteps. Our mission is simple, if you could speak to your younger self what advice would you offer?

#DearMe: eat that second slice of cake. Hell, eat all the junk food you can because you'll never have this fast of a metabolism again! 

#DearMe: we all want people to like us, but it feels like the more we try to get people to like us, the less likeable we become. Solution: do stuff you like, rather than stuff other people like.

#DearMe: revel and appreciate you can wear whatever you like. No one tells you about the second puberty that hits at 22 yrs old.
Free The Udder!
#DearMe: practice your scales more, it'll make everything easier. Also, don't be angry at Mum for not buying you a pair of Dickies shorts. She's doing you a favour.


Whether you have a vayaƱa or notHAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!

x Ally, Ro, JJ, Perls, Kerry

Thursday, October 30, 2014


In true Roseanne style we ended the season on a bitter-sweet note. Each of the girls finish with what they wanted, but apart and not completely happy

One of my favourite scene in this episode was the poker game. I thought the sfx and editing was especially on point. We were also lucky enough to have professional player Sarah Lam (Dealer) on the day to show us noobs a few tricks. 

Poker faced DOP
Another stand out moment was Nic (Nic Sampson) getting served by Winston (Pua Magasiva). It seems Perlina is getting all the D this season haha. I heard they didn't wrap at this location until 3am - true professionals!

Battle royale
Although the season is over, we will be releasing a Christmas special soon! Meanwhile stayed tuned for this season's bloopers and extras.

Happy Halloween,